Invasion of the Love Bugs

It’s May and love is in the air! Actually, it’s love bugs. And this year, the annual invasion has arrived with a vengeance. These innocuously named creatures seem to have no beneficial purpose in life. They look like fireflies, but instead of glowing in...

Driving While Jewish

Every year after moving to Florida, my good friend Tom threw a St. Patrick’s Day party. And his tradition was that each attendee tell an Irish joke. Tom took the joke telling seriously and had a team of judges announce the winner at the end of each party. He also had...

The Shopping Gene

One of the reasons our marriage works so well is that we have different skill sets that complement each other. For example, I can make instant decisions and buy something on the spot. Whereas Sara will shop in 27 countries and find the best price on the same item,...

The Acceptance Speech

Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the First Annual Dinner of Crossing Guards United. And now that the dining portion of the evening is over, we come to the moment you have all been waiting for – the announcement of the Crossing Guard of the Year. It’s my honor to...

The Five-Star Motel From Hell

With the car packed, we began our two-day trek from Sarasota to Ramsey, NJ. Unfortunately, after a delayed start, we left at 11 am. Driving 18 hours on I95 can only be described as boring. So, we look to play mindless games to occupy our minds. On this trip, we...

Traffic Congestion Unraveled

Whenever we travel the I95 corridor through the Middle-Atlantic states, we try to factor in the timing of our drive through Washington, DC. Gridlock in Congress pales to gridlock on the roads around this terribly overcrowded city. I once drove all the way to a hotel...